


The First Rule

by Dokuhan



Category: Joker Game (Anime)
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Death, Denial, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Pre-Slash, Present Tense, just a hint of sakumiyo if you squint, maybe?? - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-15
Updated: 2016-06-15
Packaged: 2018-07-15 05:25:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7209593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dokuhan/pseuds/Dokuhan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first rule is "don't die", and Miyoshi broke it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The First Rule

For all intents and purposes, Sakuma assumes that he’s the last one to hear about Miyoshi’s passing.

It’s not really his place to know about the day-to-day operations of D-Agency. As a liaison, his duty is to just pick up any relevant information when his higher ups command it. He doesn’t get much of a choice about when he goes, how long he’s supposed to stay, or anything else – he’s just the go between. His visits are so infrequent, that he usually doesn’t know which spies are back at the home base and which ones are out in the field.

And he’s okay with that, really. It’s not his job to know. All of that information is kept tightly sealed in the manila envelopes he picks up and delivers every once in awhile.  Knowing too much would probably jeopardize a mission or something somewhere down the line, so Sakuma would rather not get caught up in that mess.

When he does find out, it’s a complete accident.

He finds Amari and Tazaki sitting in the kitchen. There are pigeon feathers  _ all over _ the floor and the atmosphere is strangely heavy. Amari seems lost in some train of thought and Tazaki can’t seem to stop fiddling with the cards in his hands. He almost doesn’t want to ask, and debates just walking out of the room.  Somehow he winds up asking anyway.

“Ah, I guess you didn’t hear…” Amari responds, voice just a bit distant and far too cool, “Miyoshi was in an accident in Germany.”

“Is he alright? Are they sending him home?”

Amari shakes his head, “He didn’t make it. Yuuki-san mentioned something about a train collision.”

Something about the vagueness in the answer makes a cold chill run down Sakuma’s spine. If the colonel didn’t share further details, it might not have had anything to do with the mission. It’s still shocking though, because it all of its short few years of operation, D-Agency has never had a single fatality.

But now Miyoshi is the first, and it just seems  _ wrong.  _ It wasn’t even in the line of duty, just a completely random accident. 

“I always imagined it would be someone else,” Tazaki interjects, all too suddenly. A feather is sticking out from his sleeve, and it makes Sakuma wonder if a pigeon is going to fly out. It would be both hilarious and completely inappropriate. “Like, Hatano or Odagiri would get in a lot more trouble, or one of us would slip up at just the wrong time. Not Miyoshi though, he always seemed like he could get out of anything.” 

Amari snorts, “He’d probably be preening right now if he heard you say that,” then he sighs, “but I get it. I always figured the same thing.” 

Just hearing the two of them talk makes something acidic bubble in the base of his throat. Sakuma swallows it down and bids his goodbyes without much pretense. It’s probably a little rude since he brought up the subject, but he doesn’t want to think about Miyoshi. 

He doesn’t want to think about Miyoshi’s cold, lifeless corpse, buried in some foreign country far away from Japan. He doesn’t want to think about how his family will never know and how he’ll never get a proper funeral. 

So, he ignores it. He picks up the manila envelope, drives back to work, and drops it off. He goes through the the rest of the motions of his day like nothing has changed. He didn’t know Miyoshi that well anyway, and the spy had almost gotten him killed the first (and only) time he worked with D-Agency. He really shouldn’t care that much, anyway. 

It works up until he returns to the barracks, where it’s quiet and plain and there’s nothing to distract him. As he lies in his bed, staring at the ceiling, it suddenly hits him. He’s going to see every single one of the D-Agency operatives again at some point,  _ except _ Miyoshi. The world is just going to keep turning like he never existed to begin with. 

He’d lost comrades before, but nothing had ever affected him this much.      

Sakuma wonders if it would have been different if it was during a mission. Like, if Miyoshi had been captured and executed, or if he got into a fight with the wrong person and eventually succumbed to his injuries. Would it have been something much more nobel? Something they could all feel proud about at the end of the day, because he’d died for their country? 

Would his chest still ache the same way? Would it still feel like something was ripped away from him? 

He doesn’t realize he’s crying until he feels warm tears hit his ears, streaming sideways from his eyes because he’s lying on his back. He can’t even ask himself why he’s crying over another man, because his head is already swimming with enough doubt. 

His hand covers his mouth, because even if he’s not making any noise now, he knows he’s eventually going to if he keeps going. He closes his eyes and takes deep breaths, fruitlessly trying to steel himself. 

“ _I always_ _imagined it would be someone else,_ ” Tazaki’s voice repeats over and over again in his thoughts. 

It was never supposed to be Miyoshi. He was the best spy out of all of them, but he still broke the first rule. How could any of them expect to survive with that in mind? 

**Author's Note:**

> This is unbetaed garbage, sorry. I just had an idea I had to get out.


End file.
